Your worst cigar review

Started by bmac7754, 06/02/2013 09:36 PM

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bmac7754

Thought I would have a little fun with this one.  Everyone talks about their awesome cigars, so I thought lets hear about your worst. For this take a look at your own cigar reviews, and tell us your lowest rated one. 

 For me it's the Ron Mexico Churchill coming in with 1 star. 

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." - Mark Twain




junglepete

#1
One of the not so great cigars out there:

Boardwalk Churchill Review

So far, this is the worst cigar I have smoked. Harsh, acrid, sour, bitter, and depressing...just like my ex, it can't get any worse! If there is anyone out there who takes a shine to these please PM me...they're yours. 1.5 stars.

Now here is a cigar that I could have sworn could never improve...and I really can't say that it has, but something is different. At over 600 days later I actually dared to try another. Low and behold it was almost palatable, well rolled, dead on burn, tight solid ash, and barely smokable. There is a bit of a weird tang to it, but not so offensive. Hmmm...I wonder is the ex has mellowed as well? I'll pass on that curiosity and give this stick 2 stars until I smoke a couple more and see where it lands. Not happening.
Guru of Frugality

"It is your decisions, not your conditions that shape your life."  ~Tony Robbins~

MT21

#2
El Mejor Emerald. Sticks out in my mind as one of the worst cigars I've ever had. I never did a review on it but I sure remember pitching it.

Edit:  If I did a review I might have given it 1 star but then again, that wouldn't have been fair to the star. :barf:
"Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment."

Gurkha free zone.




jdwaynes1980

Quotejunglepete - 6/2/2013  10:53 PM

One of the not so great cigars out there:

So far, this is the worst cigar I have smoked. Harsh, acrid, sour, bitter, and depressing...just like my ex, it can't get any worse! If there is anyone out there who takes a shine to these please PM me...they're yours. 1.5 stars.

Now here is a cigar that I could have sworn could never improve...and I really can't say that it has, but something is different. At over 600 days later I actually dared to try another. Low and behold it was almost palatable, well rolled, dead on burn, tight solid ash, and barely smokable. There is a bit of a weird tang to it, but not so offensive. Hmmm...I wonder is the ex has mellowed as well? I'll pass on that curiosity and give this stick 2 stars until I smoke a couple more and see where it lands. Not happening.

You never said what cigar you were giving the bad review about, lol.
Roll Tide!

toby2

cool thread idea. not sure about the worst. VS? biggest let down hands down is the AF Anejo series. good cigar but far from orgasmic and the Sharks are way overpriced IMO. but what the hell do I know?

nirab

#5
This is easy, as I just had a cigar take the top spot in my worst cigar ever, and I reviewed it for y'all. David's post on funny reviews inspired to not let this one slip through the cracks...

Cigar Reviews
Leon Jimenes Imperiales Corojo Maduro Short Robusto   5/30/2013 8:12:35 AM
Rating:    1 Star...and that is generous!

This is a great looking cigar...and a horrible tasting one! I barely got to the half point when I had to chunk this hunk of shyte. It tasted exactly like licking a 70's black light poster that has mold on the felt, toss in a hint of dirty, used unflavored edible underwear, and finishes with a heavy dose of crap on the palate. If sucking on a great looking, perfectly formed piece of dog shyte fits your flavor profile, then this thing is a winner. This dude Leon, whose name is on the band, would be best served to put some azzholes name on it...call it the Sandusky Corojo Juvenile Maduro Butthole Robusto.
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jdwaynes1980

I actually smoked a Cuban Rounds cigar tonight that a friend gave me to try. It was the worst thing I have ever smoked... ever.

Burned like crap, tasted like bigfoot's dick smells, fell apart on both ends, tarred up so much that I had to cut it 3 times just to smoke the half of it that I did.

Funny thing about it was that the band was a knockoff of a Cohiba band, yellow, white, black stripes with the little white dots.
Roll Tide!

Ntxsage

Quotenirab - 6/2/2013  10:26 PM

This is easy, as I just had a cigar take the top spot in my worst cigar ever, and I reviewed it for y'all. David's post on funny reviews inspired to not let this one slip through the cracks...

Cigar Reviews
Leon Jimenes Imperiales Corojo Maduro Short Robusto   5/30/2013 8:12:35 AM
Rating:    1 Star...and that is generous!

This is a great looking cigar...and a horrible tasting one! I barely got to the half point when I had to chunk this hunk of shyte. It tasted exactly like licking a 70's black light poster that has mold on the felt, toss in a hint of dirty, used unflavored edible underwear, and finishes with a heavy dose of crap on the palate. If sucking on a great looking, perfectly formed piece of dog shyte fits your flavor profile, then this thing is a winner. This dude Leon, whose name is on the band, would be best served to put some azzholes name on it...call it the Sandusky Corojo Juvenile Maduro Butthole Robusto.


:lmao::lmao::lmao:

You have quite a way with words sir!
Did you know Stuart Scott almost made the Scripps National Spelling Bee as a child? Then the judges asked for skiing, but he only had one I. - acr

Ken Kelley

#8
La Estrella Cubana Oscuro wins this award hands down...followed very closely by the Gurkha Black Dragon robusto. Nasty, nasty, nasty!  :blech:
Guru of Benign Curmudgeonliness, Imperfect Patience, and Reluctant Toleration.



tvolball

Acid Kuba Kuba....OMG! I couldn't even smoke half
"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer"

Vroomp

I too reviewed a Cuban Rounds Churchill Claro and it earned 1 star:

 This cigar has a band that is supposed to look like a Cohiba. That's  about all it has going for it. The flavors were mild with cedar a light  coffee and maybe a hint of mold? Good for keeping the bugs away maybe!

Guru of Not Following the Rules


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It is the same when you are stupid....



lubrix

The one that comes to mind for me was Cibao...It wasn't even worthy of a review!.Those should be reserved for death row inmates!.
----
Guru of ruining the moment.

nwb

Luckily, I managed to go through the truly horrible cigars before joining Geeks.  One that sticks out in my mind is the ACID Nasty.  Good at keeping mosquitos away, but I'd rather get eaten alive.
Chief of Shaft

junglepete

Quotejdwaynes1980 - 6/2/2013  11:16 PM

Quotejunglepete - 6/2/2013  10:53 PM

One of the not so great cigars out there:

So far, this is the worst cigar I have smoked. Harsh, acrid, sour, bitter, and depressing...just like my ex, it can't get any worse! If there is anyone out there who takes a shine to these please PM me...they're yours. 1.5 stars.

Now here is a cigar that I could have sworn could never improve...and I really can't say that it has, but something is different. At over 600 days later I actually dared to try another. Low and behold it was almost palatable, well rolled, dead on burn, tight solid ash, and barely smokable. There is a bit of a weird tang to it, but not so offensive. Hmmm...I wonder is the ex has mellowed as well? I'll pass on that curiosity and give this stick 2 stars until I smoke a couple more and see where it lands. Not happening.

You never said what cigar you were giving the bad review about, lol.

OOPS! it was so bad I just could not put the name in writing  :biggrin:  Boardwalk.
Guru of Frugality

"It is your decisions, not your conditions that shape your life."  ~Tony Robbins~

cibolodave

I will write a review shortly, but this is by far an easy choice for me. Worse cigar i ever smoked was a Piper Haven flor de gerard. still dry heave thinking about it.

DonM

Quotetoby2 - 6/2/2013  11:18 PM
biggest let down hands down is the AF Anejo series. good cigar but far from orgasmic and the Sharks are way overpriced IMO. but what the hell do I know?

Wow, the Anejo's are one of my favorites with the # 50 on the top of the list.  Were you paying over the msrp?

As for the worst, the El Mejer Emerald gets a second vote, I tossed a few some time back to save someone the misery

"The Curmudgeon"













toby2

Quotetvolball - 6/3/2013  6:41 AM  Acid Kuba Kuba....OMG! I couldn't even smoke half

I should have said that one... I never lit it though so maybe it doesn't count. the taste was just nasty!


sjn1117

every acid ive ever smoked, its like they are dipped in perfume or something. i like my tobacco to be tobacco flavored
why isnt phonetic spelled like it sounds?


The Lone star Guru of F.A.R.T.(firearms, alcohol, ramble, tobacco)

Jackal

Boardwalk Pyramid.  I gave it a 1.5 just because I am sure that a worse cigar exists.  I just haven't found it yet.

I'll do what I will and I'll drink what I please
I'll smoke what I like 'till I cough and I wheeze
I'll drink and I'll whore and every pleasure realize
For this time tomorrow I may die


gitfiddl

Prida Robusto.  I picked up a bundle from CVMcigars.com back in March '09 for $15 as part of that newbie quest of a great cigar at a really cheap price.  Epic fail!  

"Stay away...stay very far away.  After a couple of months in my humidor, these still taste like bitter freshly mowed grass.  The only reason they are still in my humidor is because they hold humidity.  The construction is weak, and the filler is about the consistency of that of cigarettes.  I'd rather smoke a Philly Blunt!"

Self-appointed Guru of Pass Container Sizing,  All Things Midgetly Stripperish, and general "Stirrer of the Puddin'".

Phog

#20
QuoteKen Kelley - 6/3/2013  5:29 AM

La Estrella Cubana Oscuro wins this award hands down...followed very closely by the Gurkha Black Dragon robusto. Nasty, nasty, nasty!  :blech:

I second the La Estrella.  To date, the worst smoke I've had.  I gave it 2.5 stars, but reflecting my experience, I might need to lower that rating.

Joelala

Quotesjn1117 - 6/3/2013  9:35 AM

every acid ive ever smoked, its like they are dipped in perfume or something. i like my tobacco to be tobacco flavored

X2... actually X100

 :word:
Joe

dboss

Is have to say that Cuban rejects are pretty aweful. And I've always said every cigar has a person time and ace for it. But damn it was aweful.

Longhorn

I saw Brian's (nirab) review when he posted it and spewed coffee all over the place as I was laughing so hard!  

I smoked a turd rocket in the local B&M a couple of months ago although i cant remember what it was (I'd know the wrapper if saw it though - cheap looking embossed foil). The owner lit one up as well and, after a couple of puffs, opened his cash drawer and handed my money back.

grabow66

Pirates Gold maduro was nasty, but one of my earliest reviews here of the Punch Champion was pretty rough
If at first you dont succeed you are running about average.


   
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