Heaven or Hell?

Started by Kman, 10/30/2014 12:43 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Kman

While walking down the street one day a Senator was tragically hit by a car and died. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the Senator.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really?, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. 

They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven...?

So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell...

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

"I don't understand," stammers the Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil smiles at him and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning, Today, you voted.."

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." - Albert Einstein


Brlesq

Ain't THAT the truth!!
Bruce
Chief Enabler 
Guru of Decorum & Sarcasm


Hey! How come Habana is written on here with a Sharpie ?!?

A day without whiskey is like . . . just kidding, I have no idea!


nirab

The Punk Rock Guru of Meditation and Lending a Hand

DON'T believe EVERYTING you THINK...
it's COOL to Be a GEEK!

''Any time you have an opportunity to make a difference in this world and you don't, then you are wasting your time on Earth.''-Roberto Clemente

"When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That is my religion." - Abraham Lincoln

"It is possible to live happily in the here and now. So many conditions of happiness are available - more than enough for you to be happy right now." -

Thich Nhat Hanh

"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments, and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance - that principle is contempt prior to investigation."

The Cigar Vault
512-361-3289
in Beeuudaful Buda, Texas!

 

                                                               



lubrix

----
Guru of ruining the moment.

Cfickter

Guru Master of the Minions

Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms should be a convenience store, not a department of our government!

Gunga galunga ... gunga, gunga-lagunga." - Carl Spackler

Education is important, cigars are importanter!

I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me





Beegerply

Byron

Guru of small balls and big sticks
--------------------------------------------------

"If there are no cigars in heaven I shall not go" Mark Twain

Vroomp

#6

:bigthumbs:  :bigthumbs:

 

 

 

 

Just in case Longhorn looks at this thread....... 9405503699300407830414

Guru of Not Following the Rules


Cigar smoking knows no politics. It's about the pursuit of pleasure, taste, and aroma. -Anon

When you are dead, you don't know that you are dead. It is difficult only for the others.
It is the same when you are stupid....



benchjockey

You learn more by listening then you do from talking.

gpd4

My greatest fear in life is that when I die, my wife sells my things for what I told her I paid for them...

johncw


DonM

Ain't that the truth

"The Curmudgeon"













StogieDad

"I drink a great deal. I sleep a little, and I smoke cigar after cigar. That is why I am in two-hundred-percent form."
-- Winston Churchill

"It has been my experience that folks who have no vices, have very few virtues."
-- Abraham Lincoln

"I call this turf 'n' turf. It's a 16 oz T-bone and a 24 oz porterhouse. Also, whiskey and a cigar. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American."
-- Ron Swanson

Chip Lemaster

That is a very good analogy,,,

ntanner

I am not concerned about what you think as I can tell you don't do it often.

I used to be a people person, but then people ruined that for me.

Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of a group of grains that could have become beer but didn't.

sjn1117

why isnt phonetic spelled like it sounds?


The Lone star Guru of F.A.R.T.(firearms, alcohol, ramble, tobacco)

Smurf

orbis non sufficit

nwb

Chief of Shaft

05Venturer

Kent
 Guru of Cynicism & Cigars

"Pump the brakes; you take your shirt off but leave your sunglasses on?" "What sort of backwards !@#$ing pageantry is that?" "You going to fight with those shades or play pokerstars.com?"

ebernabe


Mojo66

So true indeed. There might be some justice after all.
"Life's too short to smoke bad cigars."


Otter

R, Otter
------------------------------------------------------
Certified Retail Tobacconist
CRA Ambassador #0264
Twitter: @GeekCoefficient
Instagram: Geekcoefficient
https://www.facebook.com/groups/cigargeeks/

My Virtual Humidor: http://tinyurl.com/a9umtsr


   
Privacy Policy     Terms of Service
Copyright © 2007-2024 Cigar Geeks, Inc. All rights reserved.