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Random quote: "The Christians met on the way many people who were going to their towns, women and men, with a firebrand in the hand, and certain weeds whose smoke they inhale which are dry weeds stuffed into a certain dry leaf in the form of a muset made of paper, like the ones the children make on the day of the Holy Ghost; and burning a part of it, from the other part they suck or absorb or admit the smoke with breathing." -Christopher Columbus, from his Navigation diary
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Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)
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cmmayo
Posted 1/5/2011 1:20 AM (#130888)
Subject: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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So I checked my PO Box and saw a mysterious package from Oklahoma... and so I carefully removed it to the safety of my car. My girlfriend was with me and I told her I loved her as I tried to diffuse the package...

As soon as I opened the box, a strange but familiar smell permeated the car and my girlfriend immediately yelled, "CLOSE THAT, QUICK!!!" It was too late as the dirty chemical bomb took us both out!!!

DWIG got me good! Inside were 20 of the most vile chemical weapons ever created by the cigar world: La Estrella Cubana Cabinet Selection!!! MY MORTAL ENEMY!

If you haven't read my review of this heinous stick, here's the reprint:

"Rating: 1 Star
This is not so much a review, as a WARNING. No matter HOW cheap you can get these: AVOID! (I paid $3 for 5 and it took $4 of toothpaste to get the taste out of my mouth!)
This cigar's wrapper has probably been boiled or treated with liquid tobacco resin or something. If you wet your finger and run it across the surface of this cigar, you will end up with a reddish-brown finger.
Oh, and the STINK of this cigar is horrible. It smells like a combo of wood varnish and SHOE POLISH. I think this cigar may have actually been an attempt to infuse cigars with the aromas of turpentine and furniture polish.
Last time I was sick and couldn't taste anything, I grabbed one of these and lit it. Sure enough, I was able to taste the nastiness as clear as day...
I sent one of these to a friend as part of a bomb. About a month later, I finally asked him if he ever found the surprise dog rocket in the mix. "Oh, you did that on purpose. I never lit it. I took it out of the wrapper, smelled it, and threw it away--literally THREW it. Then I washed my hands about 10 times."

Are you getting what I'm saying?!??!!??? This IS the worst cigar I've ever smoked."

I honestly don't know what I did to piss off DWIG, but I sincerely APOLOGIZE!

Luckily, he softened the blow by including the following:
-- J.L. Salazar y Hermanos (not sure exactly which)
-- 5 Vegas Triple A
-- Capoeira, a Famous exclusive by Jesus Fuego that I've been wanting to try!

Thanks for the fun bomb, David. Just know that I can't put those damn things in any of my humidors. I just might have to use them to line the patio to keep away bugs.

Edited by cmmayo 1/5/2011 1:22 AM




(shoe bomb.jpg)



(the good part.jpg)



Attachments
----------------
Attachments shoe bomb.jpg (92KB - downloads)
Attachments the good part.jpg (86KB - downloads)
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Shukpaw
Posted 1/5/2011 1:26 AM (#130889 - in reply to #130888)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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I'm not sure if I should be happy for you or not. Way to go dwig. I think.
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metalhead y cigarguy
Posted 1/5/2011 1:32 AM (#130890 - in reply to #130888)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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Question #1: Corey what are you going to do with all those La Estrella Cubana Cabinet cigars?

Question #2: What did you do to piss of your fellow BOTL?

Too bad it wasn't an April Fool's Day bomb... that would have been perfect.
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Herfin' Chef
Posted 1/5/2011 4:16 AM (#130898 - in reply to #130888)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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Notes to self:
#1 Don't piss off DWIG.
#2 Don't include Corey in any upcoming passes.
#3 Cross off, La Estrella Cubana Cabinet Selection, my sticks to try list.


"Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle." -George Burns

Edited by Herfin' Chef 1/5/2011 4:17 AM
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vw77guy
Posted 1/5/2011 4:51 AM (#130903 - in reply to #130888)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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Free cigars in the mail is a good day any day for me!!
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Ken Kelley
Posted 1/5/2011 5:52 AM (#130909 - in reply to #130888)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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Very nice and a good joke too! What in the world is in those cigars to make them smell like shoe polish? Sounds horrid nasty!
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dwig
Posted 1/5/2011 6:36 AM (#130919 - in reply to #130888)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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OK, Cory had posted the week between Christmas & New Years how he was off work, but sick. Bummer.
So I thought a bomb would help his health and attitude. As I was looking for a box to ship it off in, guess what?
Under my desk, all packaged up were my dreaded remains of the La Estrella Cubana's I foolishly bought.

This is a bit scary, because those had been in the bags seen in Cory's picture, taped up in a box for at least
18 months and they had no sign of mold. Probably can't mold with the shoe polish coating!

Immediately, his review came to mind...........and, well, you know, I JUST HAD TO DO IT!

Enjoy my friend.


I hope the good smokes did not get "infected" with shoe polish odor!!!!
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Brlesq
Posted 1/5/2011 7:17 AM (#130929 - in reply to #130888)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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So that really WAS a BOMB! Nice prank, Dwig. At least Corey now has a bunch of cigars to give to any local moochers.

Are these really that awful? I've got 10 of the La Estrella Cubana Oscuro 'R' that I picked up on a daily deal for $20 at Cigar.com to get the free S+H for some other cigars that I wanted, but I haven't tried them yet. The Oscuros have good reviews here. Now I'm hesitant to smoke one . . .
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Bob Cordell
Posted 1/5/2011 7:46 AM (#130932 - in reply to #130888)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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Thats hilarious! I hated them too!

My Review:


I dont know where to start...


Ok, I thought I would see if this cigar lived up to its infamous hype...it did!

It smelled like an old gym shoe out of the wrapper. The head cracked a bit on the clip and I noticed a chip in the wrapper about half way down. It lit ok and really wasnt that bad from the start, I got some dark toasty flavors with hints of charred wood and leather. The little chip I mentioned earlier started to expand and crack, so did the head. I was starting to notice the one sided burn that plagued me the whole time.

I got some faint sweet notes every so often between corrections that were in vain. This cigar literally fell apart in my hand. It started flaking off everywhere, I mean it came apart like a retard in a room full of bouncy balls!
I couldnt keep up with the flakes, rips, shreds and cracks so I tossed it!

Glad I only paid 5 bucks for the fiver...look out Dog Rocket pass
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87North
Posted 1/5/2011 9:41 AM (#130957 - in reply to #130888)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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Thats great. Way to go David couldn't have happened to a better sport. I hope the other sticks are tasty. Enjoy Corey.
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NES Tek
Posted 1/5/2011 9:54 AM (#130963 - in reply to #130888)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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Ha! Nice work Dave!
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mountedshriner
Posted 1/5/2011 11:17 AM (#130994 - in reply to #130888)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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Very KOOL...........I think?
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Vanilla Gorilla
Posted 1/5/2011 4:50 PM (#131042 - in reply to #130888)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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Hilarious hahahhah!
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nwb
Posted 1/5/2011 8:50 PM (#131105 - in reply to #131042)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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Nice bomb, DWIG.
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cmmayo
Posted 1/6/2011 12:43 AM (#131154 - in reply to #130932)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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Bob Cordell - 1/5/2011 7:46 AM

Thats hilarious! I hated them too!

My Review:


I dont know where to start...


Ok, I thought I would see if this cigar lived up to its infamous hype...it did!

It smelled like an old gym shoe out of the wrapper. The head cracked a bit on the clip and I noticed a chip in the wrapper about half way down. It lit ok and really wasnt that bad from the start, I got some dark toasty flavors with hints of charred wood and leather. The little chip I mentioned earlier started to expand and crack, so did the head. I was starting to notice the one sided burn that plagued me the whole time.

I got some faint sweet notes every so often between corrections that were in vain. This cigar literally fell apart in my hand. It started flaking off everywhere, I mean it came apart like a retard in a room full of bouncy balls!
I couldnt keep up with the flakes, rips, shreds and cracks so I tossed it!

Glad I only paid 5 bucks for the fiver...look out Dog Rocket pass


It seems that some people get this cigar and they DON'T have that strong smell that both dwig and I have noticed (and run from, screaming).

BTW, David, how the heck did you end up with TWENTY of them? And, also, do you think I should send them to the troops? Maybe they can use them as weapons?
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metalhead y cigarguy
Posted 1/6/2011 1:44 AM (#131162 - in reply to #130888)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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I have a good idea what to do with them Corey. Send them to Twinky.
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cmmayo
Posted 1/6/2011 2:14 AM (#131165 - in reply to #131162)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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metalhead y cigarguy - 1/6/2011 1:44 AM

I have a good idea what to do with them Corey. Send them to Twinky.


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Ken Kelley
Posted 1/6/2011 5:00 AM (#131172 - in reply to #131162)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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metalhead y cigarguy - 1/6/2011 2:44 AM

I have a good idea what to do with them Corey. Send them to Twinky.


Great idea! Maybe he can share some with Markinde and Texlewee. FijiDM might be willing to trade some Flor del Toadholes for a couple too.
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nwb
Posted 1/6/2011 6:32 AM (#131178 - in reply to #131172)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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Alphairon - 1/6/2011 6:00 AM

metalhead y cigarguy - 1/6/2011 2:44 AM

I have a good idea what to do with them Corey. Send them to Twinky.


Great idea! Maybe he can share some with Markinde and Texlewee. FijiDM might be willing to trade some Flor del Toadholes for a couple too.


Markinde's "brother" might enjoy a few, too!
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dwig
Posted 1/6/2011 7:46 AM (#131186 - in reply to #131154)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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BTW, David, how the heck did you end up with TWENTY of them? And, also, do you think I should send them to the troops? Maybe they can use them as weapons?


I bought a box of 21 on CBID for like $27.00.
You can see, I didn't need seconds to know that turd stinks!

I was going to throw them away, but was afraid I would get charged a HazMat Disposal Fee!

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lowpro75
Posted 1/6/2011 7:49 AM (#131187 - in reply to #130888)
Subject: RE: Shoe (Polish) Bomb!!! (Damn you, DWIG!!!)



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The dog rocket bomb, love it. I hope it doesn't start a trend.
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