Daniel, first off thank you very much for your service. You did something that I know I could never do, and for you and people like you I am thankful.
A little bit of backstory:
My father (Bill) is the last born of 4 boys. The 3rd oldest (Larry) was hit and killed by a car 3 days after his 7th birthday, my father never got to meet him. My father was born 3 years later. He would go on tell me that he always felt like he was the replacement for the son that his parents lost. Anyway, my father's dad died when he was only 5 years old, so he grew up without a dad but with a very strong mother who raised him and his brothers in the 60's and 70's when it was a lot less acceptable to do so than it is today.
My father named me after his dad, Thomas. It is a name that I carry proudly and with respect, but this pride and respect was taught to me at an early age....
Now.....I grew up playing competitive travel ice hockey here in NY. I started skating at the age of 3, playing organized hockey at the age of 5, and by age 7 I was playing competitive travel. I was a goaltender. My father didn't know a thing about hockey, but he would get up at ungodly hours to drive me wherever I needed to be. Thankfully he was not the type to try to coach me in the car rides to or from hockey. If I wanted to talk after a game (good or bad), we would talk. He did, however, let me hear it if I was not giving 100% of my effort 100% of the time. I have an excellent memory, and I remember that first year of travel we had a great team. We were playing the worst team in the league in Long Beach, winning 8 or 9 to nothing, when I got caught being lazy and a goal got scored on me. On the scoreboard, it meant nothing. But to my dad it was an example of me being lazy, thinking I was hot stuff, and not giving 100%. And he was right. I will never forget the car ride home, I was happy because I was 7 and we just won another game. He told me "Thomas, you were named after my father. He died when I was only 5 years old and I didn't have him around to come and watch me play. You wear a jersey with our last name on it. And as long as you are wearing a jersey with our last name on it, you will represent that name the best that you possibly can or you won't be playing. The most important thing you have in your life is your name and your reputation."
Of course, there were momentary lapses, I'm human. But I remember that car ride vividly, I remember him telling me that, and I have always felt responsible to represent him, his father, and our family the very best I can.
When I was older, he took me and my brother to the cemetery on Father's Day, to his dad's grave, to show us where him and his mom and his brothers would go to spend Father's Day. That was something. I'm glad that he is the kind of man that thought it was important enough to instill those values in me, and I like to think that he's glad I'm the type of son that took those values seriously.
QuoteSilverstix - 9/4/2018 1:30 PMDaniel, first off thank you very much for your service. You did something that I know I could never do, and for you and people like you I am thankful.
A little bit of backstory:
My father (Bill) is the last born of 4 boys. The 3rd oldest (Larry) was hit and killed by a car 3 days after his 7th birthday, my father never got to meet him. My father was born 3 years later. He would go on tell me that he always felt like he was the replacement for the son that his parents lost. Anyway, my father's dad died when he was only 5 years old, so he grew up without a dad but with a very strong mother who raised him and his brothers in the 60's and 70's when it was a lot less acceptable to do so than it is today.
My father named me after his dad, Thomas. It is a name that I carry proudly and with respect, but this pride and respect was taught to me at an early age....
Now.....I grew up playing competitive travel ice hockey here in NY. I started skating at the age of 3, playing organized hockey at the age of 5, and by age 7 I was playing competitive travel. I was a goaltender. My father didn't know a thing about hockey, but he would get up at ungodly hours to drive me wherever I needed to be. Thankfully he was not the type to try to coach me in the car rides to or from hockey. If I wanted to talk after a game (good or bad), we would talk. He did, however, let me hear it if I was not giving 100% of my effort 100% of the time. I have an excellent memory, and I remember that first year of travel we had a great team. We were playing the worst team in the league in Long Beach, winning 8 or 9 to nothing, when I got caught being lazy and a goal got scored on me. On the scoreboard, it meant nothing. But to my dad it was an example of me being lazy, thinking I was hot stuff, and not giving 100%. And he was right. I will never forget the car ride home, I was happy because I was 7 and we just won another game. He told me "Thomas, you were named after my father. He died when I was only 5 years old and I didn't have him around to come and watch me play. You wear a jersey with our last name on it. And as long as you are wearing a jersey with our last name on it, you will represent that name the best that you possibly can or you won't be playing. The most important thing you have in your life is your name and your reputation."
Of course, there were momentary lapses, I'm human. But I remember that car ride vividly, I remember him telling me that, and I have always felt responsible to represent him, his father, and our family the very best I can.
When I was older, he took me and my brother to the cemetery on Father's Day, to his dad's grave, to show us where him and his mom and his brothers would go to spend Father's Day. That was something. I'm glad that he is the kind of man that thought it was important enough to instill those values in me, and I like to think that he's glad I'm the type of son that took those values seriously.
QuoteChefjohn - 9/4/2018 6:57 PM
This contest is rather timely as the best advice I ever received was from my dad who just passed away. He was a chef and taught me the trade that would become my life's passion. In a time when chefs/cooks were not the celebrities they are today he would tell me frequently to learn to cook. No matter what happens to your work life people are still always going to have to eat. Wise words from my friend, teacher, life counselor, butt kicker when
I needed it, my dad.
QuoteKid Montana - 9/5/2018 9:56 AMQuoteChefjohn - 9/4/2018 6:57 PM
This contest is rather timely as the best advice I ever received was from my dad who just passed away. He was a chef and taught me the trade that would become my life's passion. In a time when chefs/cooks were not the celebrities they are today he would tell me frequently to learn to cook. No matter what happens to your work life people are still always going to have to eat. Wise words from my friend, teacher, life counselor, butt kicker when
I needed it, my dad.
Thanks for sharing that John, my condolences for your loss.
Quoteshakinghorizons - 9/5/2018 1:56 PM
Daniel, thank you for your service! :usa:
Excellent thread to start and contest or not, I look forward to reading the stories!
QuoteMurphy223 - 9/5/2018 5:03 PM
Daniel,
Thank you from the bottom of my and my family's heart for your service. You do us Proud.
I'm not as eloquent at relaying a really good story and I've received some really good advice over the years but the very best advice I can share came from my Dad. He passed away years ago but I cherish these 2 pieces of advice to this day.
1. "Yes Dear" - He said, whether you agree or disagree, it's the key to a happy marriage
2. "Son, if you're eating Buffalo Wings....Wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom and pee" I'm pretty sure he learned that one "first hand"... ouch
Thanks for the great post!
Quoteappollo - 9/5/2018 9:36 PM Daniel thanks for the contest.Both my parents come from a small town with great values .There were two points that they always stressed to me .which I in turn stressed to my kids. -it doesn't matter what your doing in life you do it to the best of your ability.This includes work,marriage etc.A hockey coach said to me one time:You can't always win but you can always compete" -Whatever you commit to something , you stick with it till its done.There were some jobs I had as a kid that I didn't like but my parents would make me stick with it till it was over. These things have always done right by me in life so far.
Quotequickme - 9/6/2018 11:17 AM
Amazing stories everyone. I look forward to every new post on this thread. @Chefjohn, i lost my dad over 8 years ago and I can understand what you are going through. I can tell you the emptiness you feel right now gets easier to deal with over the years. Your dad sounds like a very wise man and by the sounds of how you speak of him, he did a great job raising you. Year after year the pain will turn to happiness. Not because your dad has passed but you finally see what he meant when he was trying to explain or drill a point into your head. He made a ripple in your life and its up to you to continue that ripple he made in the world. My condolences to you and your family on your loss. Lean on your family and friends during this time.
So this is not exactly a story about "advice". It is actually a story about one of the greatest compliments I have ever received and as such...what I learned from it. Sorry for the length...
I was pretty young. and had just graduated High School. I had taken a position as a Camp Counselor. This was an 8 week Camp. At the end of the 8 weeks we would go on a 2 week trip...In this case...Canoeing in Canada. The kids would arrive on Monday morning and go home on Friday afternoon. I took on the responsibility of the Riflery Instructor and I was in charge of a cabin of about 12 kids aged 10 to 16 years old. This story is about 2 kids...I will call them Mark and John. (I am a Christian obviously...LOL) Mark was a very mischievous kid. A little ADD. He would get in trouble often. We all know those kids. John was a little overweight, a victim of bullying, and unsure of himself. We know these boys as well. Outside of the kids in our cabin, we also headed up our own "tribe". It is Summer Camp after all and so you will see some Indian themes...lol. Mark was in my cabin. John was in my tribe.
Mark loved the rifle range. It was one of the only things he wanted to do. If he had his way...it was all he would do...LOL. And so we used this to keep him on his path. There wasn't a punishment greater than restricting him from the rifle range. He failed his safety test on the first try...and so he was dejected...but he didn't bother to listen and or read the pamphlet I gave him. So with a little encouragement, a kid who would never pick up a book..actually STUDIED. Not only did he pass, he didn't miss a single question on his retake. Once on the range, he found out quickly this was a no nonsense area. That goes completely opposite of his character...lol. I believe I had to kick him off the range just once for not listening to the range master(me). But that was all it took. I took time with him and all of the boys to teach shooting. Breathing, aiming, etc. Each day, I took the top shooters and had a special session. I brought out a Remington Matchmaster. Now for those not in the know, The Matchmaster basically looks like a 12 gauge with an extra long barrel. But it is a .22 bore. Long and heavy and specifically made for target shooting. It was a bolt action with open sights and contained a 5 shot magazine where the camp rifles were single shot. We would have them do small competitions where they shot at small targets about the size of a quarter, barely visible at 25 yrds. and then at the end, they would get to shoot the Matchmaster. Placing 5 shots in the magazine and one shot in the barrel, I would put the used ammo boxes(hardly bigger than a matchbox) in a pyramid formation at the end of the range. 3 on the bottom, then 2 and then 1. There task was to shoot a single box off at a time, as quickly as possible. To do it well you would start with the top box and work your way down. Only 6 shots available and only 6 boxes. After starting off slowly and not making the sessions, Mark improved to be one of 2 kids to be able to accomplish the feat.
John was just a good kid. Willing to learn. He had issues with the Obstacle courses and just about everything physical. And at Summer Camp, most things are going to be physical. The kids end up going to each activity as a tribe. They are part of a team. eventually there is a Camp competition between tribes involving what they learned at each activity and how they perform at each activity. Needless to say John was not looking forward to this contest. He wasn't the super athlete. And as kids his age are...he was teased about it. So it was really difficult to see this kid out of his shell. When the Competition was at hand and John was competing, I would almost "constantly" cheer and coach him through the entire event. "I know you can do it, John." "I know you are tired, but I believe in you." "You've got this..." and hundreds more sayings and advice. And he tried. He NEVER Quit. He wanted to. But in his desire to not disappoint me, he pushed through everything...Was he successful in everything...no...But my god that kid pushed through more than any of the athletic kids. Our tribe won the competition, in part to him never giving up.
Skip to the end of the Summer and we are about to set off on our 2 week trip...John's mother specifically pulled me aside. She told me a story. In talking to John, she was asking him about the trip coming up. As John was one of the weaker campers, he was teamed up with a counselor to tent with. That turned out to be me. So when asked who he was tenting with he mentioned me. She asked him what I was like. His thoughtful reply was..."He makes me feel...like I can do anything." I was speechless. How do you reply to that? She felt compelled that I should know this. And obviously I am very glad she did. She thanked me and we went on to have a great trip.
Skip ahead another 10-15 years. I run into Mark's parents. Very happy to see me and I them. They told me that Mark joined the Marines. Not only that. But he becomes a Marine Sniper with several tours in Afghanistan. Not only that, but he becomes a Marine Sniper Instructor. And they wanted to let me know, that to this day.......He unabashedly tells people that I taught him how to shoot.
So I go through all of that to say that I learned the value of encouragement and believing in yourself. Two kids both a little lost in their own way. Both found a positive direction because I tried to encourage them to do things they were scared to do and work at. I didn't even know I was doing that...I just wanted them to succeed, and I tried whatever I could to help them do it. Believing in yourself is one of the Strongest powers I know of. We all struggle with it. But I have seen it's power. The person didn't change physically. John was still not athletic, he wasn't any stronger. and Mark was still ADD. But I saw them do things they could not before. John accomplished physical feats he had no idea he could. and Mark was able to focus and do things he was never allowed to do. I didn't get advice...But I learned A LOT that year.
Quoteninfiction - 9/6/2018 3:53 PM Great story PeteLots of great stories...
Life is a hell of a teacher...But we aren't always paying attention...and sometimes we just need another person to give us a different perspective (sometimes forcibly...LOL) that really and truly changes you. Thank God for those people in our lives.
QuotePETE314 - 9/6/2018 9:46 AMSo this is not exactly a story about "advice". It is actually a story about one of the greatest compliments I have ever received and as such...what I learned from it. Sorry for the length...
I was pretty young. and had just graduated High School. I had taken a position as a Camp Counselor. This was an 8 week Camp. At the end of the 8 weeks we would go on a 2 week trip...In this case...Canoeing in Canada. The kids would arrive on Monday morning and go home on Friday afternoon. I took on the responsibility of the Riflery Instructor and I was in charge of a cabin of about 12 kids aged 10 to 16 years old. This story is about 2 kids...I will call them Mark and John. (I am a Christian obviously...LOL) Mark was a very mischievous kid. A little ADD. He would get in trouble often. We all know those kids. John was a little overweight, a victim of bullying, and unsure of himself. We know these boys as well. Outside of the kids in our cabin, we also headed up our own "tribe". It is Summer Camp after all and so you will see some Indian themes...lol. Mark was in my cabin. John was in my tribe.
Mark loved the rifle range. It was one of the only things he wanted to do. If he had his way...it was all he would do...LOL. And so we used this to keep him on his path. There wasn't a punishment greater than restricting him from the rifle range. He failed his safety test on the first try...and so he was dejected...but he didn't bother to listen and or read the pamphlet I gave him. So with a little encouragement, a kid who would never pick up a book..actually STUDIED. Not only did he pass, he didn't miss a single question on his retake. Once on the range, he found out quickly this was a no nonsense area. That goes completely opposite of his character...lol. I believe I had to kick him off the range just once for not listening to the range master(me). But that was all it took. I took time with him and all of the boys to teach shooting. Breathing, aiming, etc. Each day, I took the top shooters and had a special session. I brought out a Remington Matchmaster. Now for those not in the know, The Matchmaster basically looks like a 12 gauge with an extra long barrel. But it is a .22 bore. Long and heavy and specifically made for target shooting. It was a bolt action with open sights and contained a 5 shot magazine where the camp rifles were single shot. We would have them do small competitions where they shot at small targets about the size of a quarter, barely visible at 25 yrds. and then at the end, they would get to shoot the Matchmaster. Placing 5 shots in the magazine and one shot in the barrel, I would put the used ammo boxes(hardly bigger than a matchbox) in a pyramid formation at the end of the range. 3 on the bottom, then 2 and then 1. There task was to shoot a single box off at a time, as quickly as possible. To do it well you would start with the top box and work your way down. Only 6 shots available and only 6 boxes. After starting off slowly and not making the sessions, Mark improved to be one of 2 kids to be able to accomplish the feat.
John was just a good kid. Willing to learn. He had issues with the Obstacle courses and just about everything physical. And at Summer Camp, most things are going to be physical. The kids end up going to each activity as a tribe. They are part of a team. eventually there is a Camp competition between tribes involving what they learned at each activity and how they perform at each activity. Needless to say John was not looking forward to this contest. He wasn't the super athlete. And as kids his age are...he was teased about it. So it was really difficult to see this kid out of his shell. When the Competition was at hand and John was competing, I would almost "constantly" cheer and coach him through the entire event. "I know you can do it, John." "I know you are tired, but I believe in you." "You've got this..." and hundreds more sayings and advice. And he tried. He NEVER Quit. He wanted to. But in his desire to not disappoint me, he pushed through everything...Was he successful in everything...no...But my god that kid pushed through more than any of the athletic kids. Our tribe won the competition, in part to him never giving up.
Skip to the end of the Summer and we are about to set off on our 2 week trip...John's mother specifically pulled me aside. She told me a story. In talking to John, she was asking him about the trip coming up. As John was one of the weaker campers, he was teamed up with a counselor to tent with. That turned out to be me. So when asked who he was tenting with he mentioned me. She asked him what I was like. His thoughtful reply was..."He makes me feel...like I can do anything." I was speechless. How do you reply to that? She felt compelled that I should know this. And obviously I am very glad she did. She thanked me and we went on to have a great trip.
Skip ahead another 10-15 years. I run into Mark's parents. Very happy to see me and I them. They told me that Mark joined the Marines. Not only that. But he becomes a Marine Sniper with several tours in Afghanistan. Not only that, but he becomes a Marine Sniper Instructor. And they wanted to let me know, that to this day.......He unabashedly tells people that I taught him how to shoot.
So I go through all of that to say that I learned the value of encouragement and believing in yourself. Two kids both a little lost in their own way. Both found a positive direction because I tried to encourage them to do things they were scared to do and work at. I didn't even know I was doing that...I just wanted them to succeed, and I tried whatever I could to help them do it. Believing in yourself is one of the Strongest powers I know of. We all struggle with it. But I have seen it's power. The person didn't change physically. John was still not athletic, he wasn't any stronger. and Mark was still ADD. But I saw them do things they could not before. John accomplished physical feats he had no idea he could. and Mark was able to focus and do things he was never allowed to do. I didn't get advice...But I learned A LOT that year.
Quote05Venturer - 9/6/2018 7:26 PM
Some advice that always sticks with me was given to me by an old family friend and mentor in my career in the dairy business. I had known "Big John" for many years as my father actually worked for him in his early years. I was given a chance and took my first job in management at a cheese manufacturing plant and I was struggling a bit with employees that didn't have a "sense of urgency" which is often needed in the dairy business. One day John and I were sitting in his office having a smoke (him a pipeful of Prince Albert and me a Marlboro) discussing the issue of employees not having the drive to get moving and he said "Kenny, sometimes you got to tell then to get moving because wait(weight) broke the wagon, and one other thing is that if things aren't going the way you want and you need to know why, sometimes you gotta look in the mirror. The latter seemed a bit harsh at the time but it was some of the best advice I could have gotten at that time. Since then John and I became very close and worked together for many years and he taught me more than I will ever remember. He is since retired and of late has had some health issues and been moved into a assisted living facility and I feel terrible that I haven't been to see him for months and I want to thank Dan for this thread and reminding me of this and I need to go make a visit to "Big John" in the next week or so before it's too late.
QuoteBrlesq - 9/7/2018 3:39 PM
On my wedding day 27 years ago, my father-in-law took me aside and said "Listen, I have important advice to give you: If you ever come home from work and find the front door has a fresh coat of red paint, just use the backdoor."
:-0
So here she is - the mother of all 5'ers (6'ers)
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