In honor of the festive nature of the season, post up your favorite off color Christmas/holiday themed jokes, memes, videos, or songs. Anything goes, just don't get banned! :bigthumbs: Enter as many times as you like. On 26 December 2020 I will pick a winner, whichever one made me laugh, was particularly off color, ribald, or just plain funny! The winner will get a cigar 5er from me! Enjoy, and have a Merry Christmas, you filthy animals!
To kick things off...
Edit: I don't understand how to post youtube links evidently, so... https://youtu.be/g4vktLutpiY
QuoteBrlesq - 12/22/2020 6:27 AM
Al Bundy Christmas Poem
Edit: I don't understand how to post youtube links evidently either, so... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03sI1BsH2qo
LOL great submission. :lmao: I think the forum coding doesn't work anymore.
(http://www.cigargeeks.com/gallery/)
(http://www.cigargeeks.com/gallery/)
https://youtu.be/WcEylCwkSxE
https://youtu.be/6mP-bd2_Ysg
http://www.iscaliforniaonfire.com/
(https://i.ibb.co/0X1V2tT/0e062ab43d04b144bb44291108d4530f8579da4c.jpg) (https://ibb.co/thnPKXg)
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(https://i.ibb.co/JdLpP4z/a71962196088540ab41dc9aeda945d44792e1eb4.jpg) (https://ibb.co/j5KwF2L)
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I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come...
Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.
Quote05Venturer - 12/22/2020 8:40 AM
I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come...
Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.
Holy s**t. :sad: :shamebag: :lmao:
A Miley Cyrus kind of Christmas
Quote05Venturer - 12/22/2020 11:40 AM I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come… Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Good glory![/size]
(https://i.imgur.com/WcxXDGb.gif) (https://imgur.com/WcxXDGb)
Home recipe for Viagra:
Forage in your garage
Mix equal parts Miracle Grow and Fix A Flat
Enjoy!
(https://i.ibb.co/NtB1z0z/c70fe416ef1c01d6e613f30f2a3afd4aae83db28.jpg) (https://ibb.co/8NZzVyV)
Why did the Snowman pull his pants down?
He heard the Snowblower coming down the street.
To post a youtube video use the square brackets [] with Youtube="URL of video" square bracket there should be no spaces and no long azz urls, they just won't work here.......
I have to reverse the brackets to show in thread, but it should look something like this:
]youtube=kjhbuyfuytrd[
Christmas Eve in 1955...
Santa arrives down the chimney, enters the living room, and is surprised at what he sees. 12yrd old little Johnny is standing there, naked in a robe, holding a martini in one hand and a cigar in the other. Frank Sinatra is blaring from the record player, booze is all around, and a naked lady walks into the kitchen. Santa gathers himself, and says "Son, you should be in bed. Are your parents home?" Little Johnny replies "What the fuc# do you think?"... :biggrin: :shades:
Excellent thread idea Dan.
I like this joke video: https://www.liveleak.com/view?t=ajcBD_1607428038
Merry Christmas everybody. Great submissions so far, the contest will remain open until an arbitrary time tomorrow (directly correlated to when I wake up and get coffee.)
(https://i.imgur.com/nVzA5sW.jpg?2) (https://imgur.com/nVzA5sW)
(https://i.imgur.com/HpdtUj1.jpg?1) (https://imgur.com/HpdtUj1)
(https://i.imgur.com/InUIWr1.jpg?1) (https://imgur.com/InUIWr1)
(https://i.imgur.com/JVOAVcF.jpg) (https://imgur.com/JVOAVcF)
(https://i.imgur.com/iKeaeHH.jpg) (https://imgur.com/iKeaeHH)
(https://i.imgur.com/4NCtTSo.jpg) (https://imgur.com/4NCtTSo)
(https://i.imgur.com/jpnvWEa.jpg) (https://imgur.com/jpnvWEa)
(https://i.imgur.com/NQ2kijo.jpg) (https://imgur.com/NQ2kijo)
(https://i.imgur.com/NhoohQ1.jpg) (https://imgur.com/NhoohQ1)
(https://i.imgur.com/Ytgbtxx.jpg) (https://imgur.com/Ytgbtxx)
(https://i.imgur.com/haWOB8V.jpg) (https://imgur.com/haWOB8V)
AND............... other than the first, the best was saved for last.................
(https://i.imgur.com/gvQfb4A.jpg?1) (https://imgur.com/gvQfb4A)
Enjoy,
E
Santa's favorite helper
QuoteMcBryde - 12/25/2020
AND............... other than the first, the best was saved for last.................
(https://i.imgur.com/gvQfb4A.jpg?1) (https://imgur.com/gvQfb4A)
Enjoy,
E
The best was saved for last. I retold that joke to Maureen and got some combination of a laugh and a gasp that told me it was right on the Off Color Christmas joke bullseye. Thanks to everyone for playing, wr all won thanks to your submissions but Emmerson is going to get my 5er prize for the contest. Em, I'll send it out in the new year.
When I told it to Christie, she had this look of disgust with me, as well as a laugh, so I knew it was right on track, LOL.
E
P.s.- I almost posted the two Lego pics for this contest, but most people wouldn't have gotten anything out of it. LOL
Way to go Emerson~! The Amy one really made me laugh too~! :lmao: :lmao:
I wasn't able to enter but this was a very entertaining contest to follow.
Got my prize package in today, can't wait to try them, as most of these are new to me!
Thanks Dan!
E
(https://i.imgur.com/K8Sxv5I.jpg?1) (https://imgur.com/K8Sxv5I)
Nice!
Nice gift,I got a good chuckle out of this forum.
A fun, entertaining contest with a good prize at the end.
Great contest Dan, and congrats to E. :biggrin: :bigthumbs: :bigthumbs:
Holy crap! (I'm a little behind) I definitely agree with the winning submission, but in a close second I would say "Whore on a Door" would've sufficed!