Cigar Geeks

Members Lounge => Contests / Giveaways => Topic started by: Kid Montana on 12/22/2020 07:52 AM

Title: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: Kid Montana on 12/22/2020 07:52 AM
In honor of the festive nature of the season, post up your favorite off color Christmas/holiday themed jokes, memes, videos, or songs.  Anything goes, just don't get banned! :bigthumbs:    Enter as many times as you like.  On 26 December 2020 I will pick a winner, whichever one made me laugh, was particularly off color, ribald, or just plain funny!  The winner will get a cigar 5er from me!  Enjoy, and have a Merry Christmas, you filthy animals!

To kick things off...
Edit: I don't understand how to post youtube links evidently, so... https://youtu.be/g4vktLutpiY
Title: RE: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: Brlesq on 12/22/2020 08:27 AM
Al Bundy Christmas Poem

Title: RE: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: Kid Montana on 12/22/2020 08:46 AM
QuoteBrlesq - 12/22/2020  6:27 AM

Al Bundy Christmas Poem

Edit: I don't understand how to post youtube links evidently either, so... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03sI1BsH2qo


LOL great submission.  :lmao:  I think the forum coding doesn't work anymore.
Title: RE: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: nickthafish on 12/22/2020 09:53 AM

(http://www.cigargeeks.com/gallery/)

 (http://www.cigargeeks.com/gallery/)

Title: RE: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: shakinghorizons on 12/22/2020 09:55 AM
https://youtu.be/WcEylCwkSxE
https://youtu.be/6mP-bd2_Ysg

http://www.iscaliforniaonfire.com/

(https://i.ibb.co/0X1V2tT/0e062ab43d04b144bb44291108d4530f8579da4c.jpg) (https://ibb.co/thnPKXg)
(https://i.ibb.co/DkBgdwn/15e6b86184b2bf85732c21d8c5fd759d7d995330.jpg) (https://imgbb.com/)
(https://i.ibb.co/c8gRp8V/049cde4f7c2106f35d812e4f72277b0b9ccdd03c.jpg) (https://ibb.co/LgkBqgH)
(https://i.ibb.co/Qb2yKvq/190c1c6f07399e8cc8e5c69af17adaef04cd7b94.jpg) (https://ibb.co/0DgHGyW)
(https://i.ibb.co/HYpF0yF/411fb162b031242d30c5bf0cb542d0d49190415d.jpg) (https://ibb.co/DkgVNFV)
(https://i.ibb.co/xHRjzrX/a505d742b3dd3c54badd7aaf3b183a20e62125de.jpg) (https://ibb.co/GTb2Crn)
(https://i.ibb.co/JdLpP4z/a71962196088540ab41dc9aeda945d44792e1eb4.jpg) (https://ibb.co/j5KwF2L)
(https://i.ibb.co/9WTxP80/f06558c2cc8822e9d19ac5d18297d81849d46efb.jpg) (https://ibb.co/L1tTKky)
Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: 05Venturer on 12/22/2020 10:40 AM
I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come...
Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.
Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: Kid Montana on 12/22/2020 10:46 AM
Quote05Venturer - 12/22/2020  8:40 AM

I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come...
Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.

Holy s**t.   :sad:  :shamebag:  :lmao:
Title: RE: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: Brlesq on 12/22/2020 01:44 PM
A Miley Cyrus kind of Christmas
Title: RE: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: Vroomp on 12/22/2020 06:58 PM
Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: Vroomp on 12/22/2020 07:00 PM

Quote05Venturer - 12/22/2020  11:40 AM  I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come… Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.

:lmao:  :lmao:  :lmao:  :lmao:  :lmao:  :lmao:  

Title: RE: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: Brlesq on 12/23/2020 12:49 PM
Good glory![/size]

(https://i.imgur.com/WcxXDGb.gif) (https://imgur.com/WcxXDGb)


Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: shakinghorizons on 12/23/2020 02:29 PM
Home recipe for Viagra:
Forage in your garage
Mix equal parts Miracle Grow and Fix A Flat
Enjoy!
Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: shakinghorizons on 12/23/2020 02:29 PM
(https://i.ibb.co/NtB1z0z/c70fe416ef1c01d6e613f30f2a3afd4aae83db28.jpg) (https://ibb.co/8NZzVyV)
Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: Murphy223 on 12/24/2020 12:28 PM
Why did the Snowman pull his pants down?

He heard the Snowblower coming down the street.
Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: Vroomp on 12/24/2020 12:40 PM

To post a youtube video  use the square brackets [] with Youtube="URL of video" square bracket there should be no spaces and no long azz urls,  they just won't work here.......

 

 I have to reverse the brackets to show in thread, but it should look something like this:

]youtube=kjhbuyfuytrd[

Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: nirab on 12/24/2020 01:24 PM
Christmas Eve in 1955...

Santa arrives down the chimney, enters the living room, and is surprised at what he sees. 12yrd old little Johnny is standing there, naked in a robe, holding a martini in one hand and a cigar in the other. Frank Sinatra is blaring from the record player, booze is all around, and a naked lady walks into the kitchen. Santa gathers himself, and says "Son, you should be in bed. Are your parents home?" Little Johnny replies "What the fuc# do you think?"... :biggrin:  :shades:
Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: wescat on 12/24/2020 06:39 PM
Excellent thread idea Dan.

I like this joke video:  https://www.liveleak.com/view?t=ajcBD_1607428038
Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: Kid Montana on 12/25/2020 12:38 PM
Merry Christmas everybody.  Great submissions so far, the contest will remain open until an arbitrary time tomorrow (directly correlated to when I wake up and get coffee.)
Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: McBryde on 12/25/2020 08:32 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/nVzA5sW.jpg?2) (https://imgur.com/nVzA5sW)

(https://i.imgur.com/HpdtUj1.jpg?1) (https://imgur.com/HpdtUj1)

(https://i.imgur.com/InUIWr1.jpg?1) (https://imgur.com/InUIWr1)

(https://i.imgur.com/JVOAVcF.jpg) (https://imgur.com/JVOAVcF)

(https://i.imgur.com/iKeaeHH.jpg) (https://imgur.com/iKeaeHH)

(https://i.imgur.com/4NCtTSo.jpg) (https://imgur.com/4NCtTSo)

(https://i.imgur.com/jpnvWEa.jpg) (https://imgur.com/jpnvWEa)

(https://i.imgur.com/NQ2kijo.jpg) (https://imgur.com/NQ2kijo)

(https://i.imgur.com/NhoohQ1.jpg) (https://imgur.com/NhoohQ1)

(https://i.imgur.com/Ytgbtxx.jpg) (https://imgur.com/Ytgbtxx)

(https://i.imgur.com/haWOB8V.jpg) (https://imgur.com/haWOB8V)

AND............... other than the first, the best was saved for last.................

(https://i.imgur.com/gvQfb4A.jpg?1) (https://imgur.com/gvQfb4A)

Enjoy,

E
Title: RE: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: amigodecigars on 12/26/2020 09:54 AM
Santa's favorite helper      
Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: Kid Montana on 12/26/2020 09:04 PM
QuoteMcBryde - 12/25/2020  

AND............... other than the first, the best was saved for last.................

(https://i.imgur.com/gvQfb4A.jpg?1) (https://imgur.com/gvQfb4A)

Enjoy,

E

The best was saved for last.   I retold that joke to Maureen and got some combination of a laugh and a gasp that told me it was right on the Off Color Christmas joke bullseye.  Thanks to everyone for playing,  wr all won thanks to your submissions but Emmerson is going to get my 5er prize for the contest.  Em, I'll send it out in the new year.
Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: McBryde on 12/27/2020 09:12 AM
When I told it to Christie, she had this look of disgust with me, as well as a laugh, so I knew it was right on track, LOL.

E

P.s.- I almost posted the two Lego pics for this contest, but most people wouldn't have gotten anything out of it. LOL
Title: RE: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: Vroomp on 12/27/2020 10:28 AM
Way to go Emerson~!  The Amy one really made me laugh too~! :lmao:  :lmao:
Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: benchjockey on 12/27/2020 12:48 PM
I wasn't able to enter but this was a very entertaining contest to follow.
Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: McBryde on 01/15/2021 10:50 AM
Got my prize package in today, can't wait to try them, as most of these are new to me!

Thanks Dan!

E

(https://i.imgur.com/K8Sxv5I.jpg?1) (https://imgur.com/K8Sxv5I)
Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: Brlesq on 01/15/2021 10:55 AM
Nice!
Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: appollo on 01/15/2021 11:29 AM
Nice gift,I got a good chuckle out of this forum.
Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: benchjockey on 01/15/2021 11:33 AM
A fun, entertaining contest with a good prize at the end.
Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: nirab on 01/15/2021 09:36 PM
Great contest Dan, and congrats to E.  :biggrin:  :bigthumbs:  :bigthumbs:
Title: Re: The 2020 off color Christmas contest!
Post by: bstessl on 01/23/2021 01:59 AM
Holy crap!  (I'm a little behind) I definitely agree with the winning submission, but in a close second I would say "Whore on a Door" would've sufficed!