So I checked my PO Box and saw a mysterious package from Oklahoma... and so I carefully removed it to the safety of my car. My girlfriend was with me and I told her I loved her as I tried to diffuse the package...
As soon as I opened the box, a strange but familiar smell permeated the car and my girlfriend immediately yelled, "CLOSE THAT, QUICK!!!" It was too late as the dirty chemical bomb took us both out!!!
DWIG got me good! Inside were 20 of the most vile chemical weapons ever created by the cigar world: La Estrella Cubana Cabinet Selection!!! MY MORTAL ENEMY!
If you haven't read my review of this heinous stick, here's the reprint:
"Rating: 1 Star
This is not so much a review, as a WARNING. No matter HOW cheap you can get these: AVOID! (I paid $3 for 5 and it took $4 of toothpaste to get the taste out of my mouth!)
This cigar's wrapper has probably been boiled or treated with liquid tobacco resin or something. If you wet your finger and run it across the surface of this cigar, you will end up with a reddish-brown finger.
Oh, and the STINK of this cigar is horrible. It smells like a combo of wood varnish and SHOE POLISH. I think this cigar may have actually been an attempt to infuse cigars with the aromas of turpentine and furniture polish.
Last time I was sick and couldn't taste anything, I grabbed one of these and lit it. Sure enough, I was able to taste the nastiness as clear as day...
I sent one of these to a friend as part of a bomb. About a month later, I finally asked him if he ever found the surprise dog rocket in the mix. "Oh, you did that on purpose. I never lit it. I took it out of the wrapper, smelled it, and threw it away--literally THREW it. Then I washed my hands about 10 times."
Are you getting what I'm saying?!??!!??? This IS the worst cigar I've ever smoked."
I honestly don't know what I did to piss off DWIG, but I sincerely APOLOGIZE!
Luckily, he softened the blow by including the following:
-- J.L. Salazar y Hermanos (not sure exactly which)
-- 5 Vegas Triple A
-- Capoeira, a Famous exclusive by Jesus Fuego that I've been wanting to try!
Thanks for the fun bomb, David. Just know that I can't put those damn things in any of my humidors. I just might have to use them to line the patio to keep away bugs.