Another Golf Joke ?

Started by Beegerply, 01/05/2013 10:47 AM

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Beegerply

President B.H.O. Has recently appointed a Golf Czar.
Major rule changes in the game of golf will become effective January, 20 2013.
This is only a preview as the complete rule book (expect 2716 pages) is being rewritten as we speak.
Here are a few of the changes:
Golfers with handicaps:
- Below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%.
- Between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees.
- Above 18 will get a $20 check each time they play.
The term "gimmie" will be changed to "entitlement" and will be used as follows:
- Handicaps below 10, no entitlements.
- Handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts.
- Handicaps above 18, if your ball is on the green, no need to putt, just pick it up.
These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring.
In addition, a Player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given 18-hole round.
Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par.
Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again .
The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes, but the term "net score" will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 18 and above.
This is intended to "re-distribute" the success of winning by making sure that in all competitions every Player above an 18 handicap will post only "net score" against every other player's "gross score".
These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf.
Golf must be about Fairness. It should have nothing to do with ability, hard work, practice, and responsibility.
This is the "Right thing to do."
So, please remember; if you shot a round of golf under par, you didn't shoot it yourself. Someone else built that course, and someone else cut the grass so that you could play on it. Someone else built the clubs and the cart.
Byron

Guru of small balls and big sticks
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"If there are no cigars in heaven I shall not go" Mark Twain

lubrix

----
Guru of ruining the moment.

tvolball

Yeah that pretty well sums it up in general
"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer"

nwb

Chief of Shaft

dwig

I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say:  Hey look.  That one is shaped like an idiot!"

Smurf

orbis non sufficit

ntanner

i will be getting 20 bucks every time i play.  :biggrin:
I am not concerned about what you think as I can tell you don't do it often.

I used to be a people person, but then people ruined that for me.

Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of a group of grains that could have become beer but didn't.

Beegerply

Play 7 days a week that 140.00 bucks  :lmao:
Byron

Guru of small balls and big sticks
--------------------------------------------------

"If there are no cigars in heaven I shall not go" Mark Twain

Hapcigar

This is heading to every golfer I know.

 :lmao:
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results. - Winston Churchill

Brlesq

Bruce
Chief Enabler 
Guru of Decorum & Sarcasm


Hey! How come Habana is written on here with a Sharpie ?!?

A day without whiskey is like . . . just kidding, I have no idea!


Ken Kelley

And it's only a matter of time until they tax your balls!  :biggrin:
Guru of Benign Curmudgeonliness, Imperfect Patience, and Reluctant Toleration.



Chrism305

... You're supposed to keep score, I thought you just threw balls into all visible water, then smoke a few cigars in the five hours you have carved out of you schedule.


   
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