My wife sat down next to me while I was channel surfing. She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started....
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My wife said she wanted something for her birthday that could go from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds. I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started....
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When I retired I went to the Social Security office to apply for my benefits. The lady behind the counter asked me for driver's license so she could verify my age. As luck would have it, I had left my wallet at home so I told her I would have to come back later.
She said, "Unbutton your shirt."
So I unbuttoned my shirt revealing my sliver chest hair. She said, "Your curly silver chest hair is proof enough for me." So she finished processing my paper work.
When I got home I told my wife what had happened. She said, "Well you should have dropped your pants too. You may have been able to qualify for a disability."
And then the fight started....
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My wife and I went to my high school reunion. We spotted a lady at the next table who was really pouring down the booze. My wife asked, "Do you know her?"
I said, "Yeah, that's my old high school sweetheart. She started drinking right after we split up and hasn't stopped in all these years,"
"Amazing!", said my wife, "I didn't think ANYBODY could celebrate that long!"
And then the fight started....
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My wife asked, "Does this dress make my butt look fat?"
I said, "Do bears sh*t in the woods?"
And then the fight started.........
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Our anniversary was about a month away and my wife said, "I'd like to go someplace I haven't been for a long time."
I said, "How about the kitchen?"
And then the fight started........
