Old Codger

Started by 360, 12/16/2009 07:52 PM

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360

An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?" The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir..... but... I've always wanted to."




There are two lessons for us all here:


Don't waste ammunition.

Don't mess with old people.
I'm running for President. Please vote for me!

mountedshriner

"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote!" -- Benjamin Franklin


Olejay

Jay  

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics - Fletcher Knebel






nwb

:lmao:  :lmao:

Very good.

nwb
Chief of Shaft

DennisA

Of all the things I've lost, it's my mind I miss the most.

gitfiddl

Self-appointed Guru of Pass Container Sizing,  All Things Midgetly Stripperish, and general "Stirrer of the Puddin'".

Jackal


I'll do what I will and I'll drink what I please
I'll smoke what I like 'till I cough and I wheeze
I'll drink and I'll whore and every pleasure realize
For this time tomorrow I may die


NES Tek

:lmao:  :lmao:  :lmao:
Great advice!
"A good cigar is like tasting a good wine: you smell it, you taste it, you look at it, you feel it - you can even hear it. It satisfies all the senses." - Anonymous

"You play five years in a Jimmy Buffett cover band and see what your freakin' wardrobe looks like, butthole!" - gitfiddl

rkarkada


mcdimond

Michael


Fun Fact:
Groucho Marx suffered from insomnia, which he claimed was due to a financial loss in the stock market. When he suffered from insomnia, he used to call people up in the middle of the night and insult them. In the 1950s Groucho was invited to take a tour of the New York Stock Exchange. While in the observation booth, he grabbed the public address system handset and began singing "Lydia the Tattooed Lady". Upon hearing silence coming from the trading floor, he walked into view, was given a loud cheer by the traders, and shouted, "Gentlemen, in 1929 I lost eight hundred thousand dollars on this floor, and I intend to get my money's worth!" For fifteen minutes, he sang, danced, told jokes, and all this time, the Wall Street stock ticker was running blank.

DocJazzRH

Rich ()=iii=<


 Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself .. J. Wagner

 At least a bad conscience can make life interesting -- Kierkegaard












   
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